Mashable Hysterical Over Twitter Outage

As you may or may not have noticed, Twitter.com disappeared for about an hour last night. Their DNS records were apparently compromised by someone claiming to be the (previously unheard-of) “Iranian Cyber Army”. The DNS entry, which essentially tells your web browser where to find individual sites, was apparently changed by some mischief makers to point to the wrong place. Some users saw a message from the “Army”, while others simply couldn’t access the site. It was back to normal in an hour or so.

It is unknown whether the “Army” acted in response to my repeated exclamations that “Twitter Must Die“.

It’s not the first time Twitter has gone down, though it’s certainly the most spectacular. Unfortunately, the crew at Mashable.com, who (as we’ve repeatedly noted, are obsessed with Twitter), reacted to the outage with Hindenburg-style hysterics.

Ben Parr, Mashable’s intrepid co-editor and repeatedly failed entrepreneur according to his own web site, breathlessly reported that Twitter had been hacked (a statement he later tweaked for accuracy purposes). Parr stated:

For one of the world’s most popular websites to be compromised and taken down, even for a few minutes, is a big problem. This type of thing should never happen, regardless of who is to blame.

You tell ‘em Ben! This should never happen! Twitter should never make the rookie mistakes you made with your own start-ups.

In his follow-up piece, Parr grew far more hysterical (and repeated the inaccurate, irresponsible “hacking” charge). Get a load of this:

We’re still in shock over what has just transpired. Twitter was just hacked.

…

Little compares to what has happened tonight. Even if it was a third-party DNS attack, Twitter still gets the black eye.

This is unacceptable for one of the world’s top 20 most-visited websites. There needs to be accountability for this situation (no matter if it’s within Twitter or within a third party), and a more detailed explanation is warranted. Twitter also needs to find a way to assure that this never happens again.

This is a tragedy beyond compare! It is unacceptable! Something must be done!

To their credit, some more intelligent Mashable readers called out Parr for over-reacting and being absurdly dramatic. But most of his readers joined right in:

Who knows if the hackers got our passwords and personal information?

I’m thinking about deleting my Twitter after this….It seems so unsafe now!

Do these people have all my info???

What will I do with out Twitter?

Can’t connect either from venezuela… There’s a hole in my heart and is killing me forever (8).. and is only being there for 30 min now =|,

I am having withdrawal symptoms already. Twitter down, not good :[

God Damn those fuckers, and Twitter has got to do something about the God Damn security on its website… damn it I am pissed off

PRAISE JESUS. TWITTER’S BACK.

Ben, you and your readers need to get outside and get some fresh air. You’ll feel better, I promise.

Google Garbage™ Returns

It’s back!

Time for another experiment in soul-crushing nonsense: a series of posts exclusively determined by Google Trends popularity. This time though, I’ll attempt to monetize them. Yes, I’m breaking my advertising ban, but for experimental purposes only.

For this experiment, I’ll place AdSense ad units within the experimental posts, and we’ll see a bit more about the behavior of the searchers that come through. My guess, and it’s only a guess, is that my click-through ratio will be fairly high, as long as I keep the posts short. Presumably once the visitors realize that the rest of this site is unrelated to their query, they’ll need somewhre else to go. And unless I’ve given them everything they want on the subject, they’ll have two options: click the back button, or click an ad. We’ll see.

Based on the logs from the last experiment, posts about attractive women and/or violent criminals (preferably both, e.g. Amanda Knox) are popular, as are self-improvement topics. I would suggest that a self-improvement program might start with ignoring this kind of garbage, but hey, for the moment, I’m here to satisfy the crowd, not lecture it. Just for the moment.

And so, dear readers, please bear with me until the experiment is through, or my soul is adequately crushed, whichever comes first. Unless of course I start seeing some decent money from this, in which case it’s goodbye forever and see you in hell!

Deepak Chopra Does Not Have a Dictionary

…or perhaps he just thinks he knows the meaning of the word “skeptic“:

Deepak Chopra, SFGate.com, Nov. 30, 2009

“The perils of skepticism”

If you’ve ever used Google Alert, you know the jolts it can deliver. Whenever anyone in the blogosphere decides to blow a poison dart your way, Google is happy to deliver the news, along with the more positive mentions, of course. Most of my stinging darts come from skeptics. Over the years I’ve found that ill-tempered guardians of scientific truth can’t abide speculative thinking. And as the renowned Richard Dawkins has proved, they are also very annoyed by a nuisance named God.

Statistically, cynical mistrust is correlated with premature sudden death from cardio vascular disease. Since the skeptics who write venomous blogs trust in nothing, I imagine that God will outlive them. In the interests of better health, these people should read scripture, or at least a poem, twice a day. Doctor’s orders.

I’ve debated skeptics, including Richard Dawkins (I spoke with Dawkins for over 90 minutes on camera in Oxford. He extracted 30 seconds from the dialogue and dubbed me the enemy of science.) and am amazed that they mistake self-righteousness for happiness. A sort of bitter satisfaction is what they reap. No skeptic, to my knowledge, ever made a major scientific discovery or advanced the welfare of others. Typically they sit by the side of the road with a sign that reads “You’re Wrong” so that every passerby, whether an Einstein, Gandhi, Newton, or Darwin, can gain the benefit of their illuminated skepticism. For make no mistake, the skeptics of the past were as eager to shoot down new theories as they are to worship the old ones once science has validated them.

It never occurs to skeptics that a sense of wonder is paramount, even for scientists. Especially for scientists. Einstein insisted, in fact, that no great discovery can be made without a sense of awe before the mysteries of the universe. Skeptics know in advance — or think they know — what right thought is. Right thought is materialistic, statistical, data-driven, and always, always, conformist. Wrong thought is imaginative, provisional, often fantastic, and no respecter of fixed beliefs.

So whenever I find myself labeled the emperor of woo-woo, I pull out the poison dart and offer thanks that wrong thinking has gotten us so far. Thirty years ago no right-thinking physician accepted the mind-body connection as a valid, powerful mode of treatment. Today, no right-thinking physician (or very few) would trace physical illness to sickness of the soul, or accept that the body is a creation of consciousness, or tell a patient to change the expression of his genes. But soon these forms of wrong thinking will lose their stigma, despite the best efforts of those professional stigmatizers, the skeptics.

OK, maybe he’s just a self-righteous douche.